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Looking Back to Normal

Sometimes when I look back, I still find it hard to believe this is us.


No, not us back then.



Then we were 'normal'. We had bills, kids--lots(!), stress, and were too busy to see the everyday simple life. We had three adult kids grown up, three teens that were off skiing with grandparents, and three littles at church with mom and dad. We were Meme and Poppy to 5 grandchildren. I remember we had bought a horse that year for one daughter and were waiting for her to arrive home and be surprised. There was so much anticipation in our lives. This picture was Christmas 2018.



Now our lives look different. We are different. We are up to 5 adult kids, will soon have 7 grands. We have one teen, and two not so little children at home. And I still wake up and wonder...how can this be our life?


My first thoughts of the morning are of my itty bitty 3 year old... except had she stayed here, she would now be 6. Instead, she will forever be our 3 year old baby. I remember kissing her smooth bald head after the cancer stole her beautiful blond ponytails. It tried but could never steal her funny personality. Her sassy attitude or the way she loved so big were a constant part of her life. At 3 she was so brave facing every pain she battled through, yelling all the time "I NOT BRAVE! I gonna SCREAM!"


This is our third Christmas without her. The pain is not so sharp, the tears not so frequent, but the missing not any less. Yes, I have learned to carry this weight and still function most of the time. I have learned how to let gratitude for each moment we had together fill my soul even as the tears wash my face. I have embraced that this separation is not forever. My forever starts when I join her in heaven. This is only the dash in a short time between birth and death.


Remembering my precious tiny Amelia Joy - "Millie" and the 4 Christmas seasons that we held her in our arms.



~Telling Christ’s story {Because of Millie}

︵‿︵‿୨☆୧‿︵‿︵ ☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★ I still believe in Millie’s Miracle ☆。・:*:・゚ Hebrews 11:1 。・:*:・゚☆ ︵‿︵‿୨☆୧‿︵‿︵


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