“Did you see her? That lady in church today, you know the one who had tears in her eyes?”
“Yeah, as soon as the pastor started to preach, she started to cry”
“I wonder what he said that made her cry? She must really be under conviction”.
Or...
Maybe she is just remembering. Maybe her heart breaks for the little one missing from her pew. Maybe she wishes things had been different. Just maybe she remembers when she prayed so hard for earthly healing, but the answer was heavenly healing instead.
Church is so hard for grieving parents. Worship is so intimate, so raw, as you bring praise to Jesus. It really is the sacrifice of praise to lift your songs to the Lord despite your heartbreak.
The sermon this morning was emphasized with personal testimony of a father whose child was diagnosed with brain cancer at age 4. As he shared his story, it echoed Millie’s story. The only difference was our ending.
At each detail my heart broke wide open all over again. I was transported right back in 2019 at that same hospital, with that same referral to Children’s hospital. I felt his pain as he described his wife and child going to stay in hospital without him. Through each word, I cried, desperately wiping my face. David tenderly reached over to rub my hand with his thumb. He understood--his heart hurt too with each familiar word. Our children felt the blow as they remember what we walked through.
The sermon talked about many things out of Psalms 119:1-8. I understood how we walk through the storms of life, yet still we can praise the Father. I don’t know if the pastor said that or that was what I gained from his time, but I do know I was distraught enough that I did not truly hear him this morning. Oh, I wanted to but sometimes grief demands attention, front and center. The harder I tried to stop the tears or breath through the chest pains, the harder they hit.
You might wonder why I share this?
I guess as a two-fold reminder.
First, if you know a grieving parent, you should expect them to act irrational with their tears. Expect them to not be able to quell them. Expect that they are truly surviving each moment, wishing more than you do that life wasn’t like it is. Secondly, let it remind you to be kind because you truly never know the pain another person carries. What may appear one way to the perceiver, often is completely different to the person that lives through the pain. Be oh so cautious in the judgements you make about someone’s life.
I’m grateful that our church family is small. Each one knew Millie personally and feels her loss in our church body. They don’t expect us to hide our grief. They listen to us talk of her, often saying how much they miss her too. They still pray for our family, and they also pray that the testimony of Millie’s life story will draw others to Christ. Just as we remember, they remember…
~Telling Christ’s story {Because of Millie}
︵‿︵‿୨☆୧‿︵‿︵ ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★ I still believe in Millie’s Miracle ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ Hebrews 11:1 ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ︵‿︵‿୨☆୧‿︵‿︵
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