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Child Loss and Grief

A Gaping Void

Losing a child is undoubtedly one of the hardest experiences parents ever go through. If you are like me, every second since you found out you would soon be a parent has been filled with placing the needs of your child above your own. Countless hours have been spent feeding, nurturing, cleaning, and loving this precious gift from God. When your child dies, your arms and your life suddenly become very empty.


Where there was once a vibrant life, now there is a gaping void. You carry a huge love with nowhere to place it.


Some days grief can make you angry as you yell out, “Why us?” Other days, the sheer sadness can incapacitate you. As the waves of grief pass over you, it is very common to think you have finished being battered only to be tricked into a false calm that settles before an even bigger wave come to knock you down. Loss is not something you ever get over, instead it is a process you walk through as you learn to carry your grief in a gentler way.


Sometimes finding a group of people who understand your loss helps you not feel so alone. It reminds you that the things you are experiencing, the feelings that ravage your mind, even the physical discomfort, is all a normal part of the grieving process. For me to be able to share my feelings through writing and support groups has helped me to be able to process my grief out loud.


Grieving also can force us to face what we believe about faith and God. It can help us cut through all the religion and truly get to a relationship with Jesus. It causes us to evaluate all the ‘comforting’ statements people will say without truly understanding the implications and hurt that those flippant words can bring to a grieving parent's heart. It can either draw you towards Jesus, clinging to him for comfort, or it can drive us away from God as we become bitter from the devestating loss. Grief caused me to decide that I wanted to live my life to glorify God, even if the story had pain and heartache. I want to be a signpost pointing others to Jesus.

Where do you stand in your journey?

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